Thursday, January 23, 2014

Bryan Fuller Is Galactus

This is why the internet is a dangerous place. Think on this: Angela Bassett and Rosario Dawson as captain and first officer in a Star Trek series. Read it again, dammit, ‘cause you ain’t heard me.  Rosario Dawson… and Angela Bassett… and Star Trek.

Read THIS, then join me in my ready room.

Reality…can only handle so flippin’ much because the imagination is constantly poking at it. Poke, poke, poke. Stretch, stretch, stretch.  A finger inside a plastic bag. Bryan Fuller, sir, you do not speak of such things, you do not even JOKE of such things, and expect life to proceed “business as usual.” You goosed life. Goosed it good.  I’m typing this swinging my legs like a kid and eyes so wide I can see through concrete. In my younger days Star Trek was my religion. To this day I still get reverent when I hear strains of Vulcan harp. The Glorious Revolution would lack luster if not for Jim Kirk’s “In every revolution there is one man with a vision” speech (“Mirror, Mirror” ep; YouTube that sumbitch). Trek was creative, Trek was cool, Trek was Gawd.

Amen, I say unto you, amen.

But you, sir, who’ve been a part of Trek’s success before, had to go and say you’d love to see a new Trek series, hell, get Angela Bassett and Rosario Dawson to star, why not; while here in Detroit during a cold and bleak and ugly winter in which I’d sell all of humanity for a heat-giving lump of coal, I look on the internet and see your article. I spazzed way past publicly acceptable levels.  Which is why I risked the wrath of copyright infringement to create this:

Give us this… and FOX  can have all the teen-porn/snuff films as TV shows/intellectual-retardation dross they want. I don’t frikkin’ care, because I will personally be in front of the television precisely one hour on a specific day every week per week, and that’s whenever Star Trek: Federation (my idea totally, came up with it before DS9, premise: anthology show about life in the Federation, copyright, pat pending) is scheduled. Tweak the deets. Yours doesn’t have to be an anthology show. If you get Bassett and Dawson it can be about the captain and first officer staring at the view screen for an hour saying, “Yup, that’s space. Lot of it.” I don’t care.

Just for the love of all that is wonderful seeing as how reality has been torn asunder make your offhand, pipe dream, here’s fairy dust for my unicorn to snort remark so!

Please, Gawd, make it so. I can’t go back to anything the way it used to be now.
Bryan Fuller is Galactus, the Destroyer of Worlds.

Damn internet.