Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Seriously, Sarah Palin?

Guest post today. Brother Man sent this to me. There's an attitude among the broken that they , not any ill-prevailing institution, shouldn't be fixed. Let's worry about facts and research later just in case a 3rd person actually starts reading this. This is a blog generously committed to at work, dammit. Do you really think I have time to fact check and research? Hell, people on Capitol Hill don't even do that!

So here, with a few edits and additions of my own, is Bro Smoove (his new name, copyright, trademark & pat pending...

The Mythology of the Health Care Debate
(Or as a donut would say to your wobbly thighs: “You know you want me.”)

Myth #1: “A government-run public option will drive private insurers out of business.”

Did the government-run postal service drive UPS, Federal Express, and a host of other private delivery companies out of business? Of course not.

“Yeah, but the Post Office loses money, millions of dollars a year, if not billions.”

Of course it does. You WANT IT TO LOSE MONEY. Do you really think the magic of dropping an envelope in your mailbox and having it appear reliably anywhere in the country a few days later costs just forty-four cents? You know it doesn’t. But nobody cares unless it’s to score political points during a campaign season.

“Yeah, but it could be run a lot more efficiently, or even privatized.”

Yes, it could, but the true cost of delivering first-class would still be along the lines of “Lemme hold a dollar,” not fifty cents.

And by the way, every time somebody moves out further in the sticks to get away from [Your City Here] why should I have to pay for the new roads, freeway exits, and utility feeds, that protect you from the rest of us. That’s too much government intervention. So let’s just roll it all into your mortgage. Lovin’ those liberal government subsidies now?

Myth #2: “You won’t have choices. The government will dictate the doctors you see, the hospitals you visit, and the level of care you receive.”

You don’t have choices now!! Your employer [The Government] dictates who your health care provider will be; Insurance company then dictates the universe of doctors that you can access, the ones who participate in the plan(s) offered by your company. Until the insurance company decides to change its coverage. Which you generally don’t find out about till you’ve made an appointment and have to come out of pocket just a wee bit more. And if you don’t like the “choices” made available to you, if an alternative mix of protection and care works better for your family? Pull out those gold bullions and buy your own, suck it up and accept your “choice,” or suck wind and move on to the company that does provide Boo Cross, who coincidentally just raised their individual rates by 22% in my state.

Myth #3: The public option will kill Grandma.

If you fall for this lie, there is nothing I can tell you. Most things in life will puzzle you. For your own safety, exit now. Or just enjoy the extra blank spaces I’ve inserted below. Getting sleepy?

Myth#4: Leave it alone. We have the best health-care system in the world.

Tell that to the major cities in America who have infant mortality rates worse than third-world countries. Tell that to my daughter who has to wait months to see a specialist. Tell that to me as I writhed in excruciating pain on the cold floor of the emergency room of a major hospital for five hours, a kidney stone burning my insides. No, there was no nearby disaster, no apology, just business as usual. And I was one of the lucky ones. I didn’t have to watch the sun rise twice. Not that I would have seen it supine on the floor, but you get my point.

“Yeah, but that was an isolated incident.”

Isolation x thousands = A PROBLEM

People die in emergency rooms everyday, sight unseen. Like I said, I (translation we [the shared collective experience]) were lucky.

Myth#5: The proposed plan will cost trillions of dollars.

Read my lips. I-DON’T-CARE. Some things outweigh money. The overriding factor: the public good. Yes, the Post Office burns through billions of dollars. I-DON’T-CARE. Government subsidized mass transit, across the country, loses money daily. I-DON’T-CARE. That money-sucking, government subsidized monster gives people who can’t afford a car an opportunity to ride beyond their circumstances and achieve their dreams. The elderly and infirm get infused with a sense of purpose and self-sufficiency when they can get around just as easily as the young folks. I live in a region that completely ignored mass transit in worship of the all-mighty automobile. So whether you’re nineteen or ninety-one, unless you have a surrogate, or can afford a rare cab, or are willing to wait in rain, sleet, or snow for a bus that may never come, you’re stuck behind the wheel of a car.

Only a carpetbagger thinks it’s all about the money. Sweep this nonsense under the rug and let’s reform health care. -- Bro Smoove

I'm back. Rabble roused? Good. If your question isn't Should we evolve our system of health care? but How should we evolve our system of health care? then I'm here for ya. Money can't hold onto its assets forever. Hell, I'll start small and say no more pharmaceutical commercials on TV. If I have to ask my doctor about XYZ then he's a pretty pathetic quack in the first place. Personally I don't need a duck operating on my feet. I'm delicate.

On a side note (although it's related to health care if you follow it to its logical conclusion) you have any idea how much sex I'd get if I won the Nobel Prize??? The wife would probably dress up as a nun! I'm just sayin'... kudos, sir, kudos. Joe the Plumber will determine at a later date if you get to keep that or not, you presidential history making mofo you. Next for Obama: satisfying every woman in America. Ladies, can you say "finally"?

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